Quantum Physics, Maslow, and a Four Year Old

(Quantum Physics from enlightearth.com)

Some of the best (by which, of course, I mean funniest) conversations I have ever had have been with my children in a public bathroom. I'm not sure what the reason is, but our kids seem to have their deepest thoughts while sequestered in the stall. This Sunday at church I took our four year old, Rock Star, to the bathroom. While he was doing his business, we had the following conversation.

RS: Dad, guess what I don't know.

Me: Um, quantum physics?

RS: Nope. I know that. Guess what I don't know.

Me: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?

RS: What?

Me: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

RS: Um. OK. Guess what else I don't know. There's two things: that, and one other thing.

Unfortunately, I was laughing too hard at this point to hear what the one other thing is in the world beside Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs that our four year old does not know.

I'm glad he's already mastered quantum physics, though. It would be a little disappointing to have him enter kindergarten without a firm grasp of that one!

Baby Logan

This cute little guy was so much fun. He was awake when we started which was perfect to catch his beautiful eyes. Then he was even fantastic enough to go to sleep for some adorable sleeping shots.

I love how much his brother and sister totally love him. They were both so excited just to be by him.

My SCARY Lady

Yesterday we announced to our children that we would be watching a true classic, My Fair Lady. This is the conversation that we had with our fourth child, Rock Star, following that announcement:

Rock Star: NO! NO! NO! I watched it before, and it's really scary!

Me: You have not seen My Fair Lady.

Rock Star: I watched every movie in the whole world at Dia's house.

Me: Really? What's it about?

Rock Star: Scary stuff. There's a dragon what cannot be trained and is not nice!

Dia, by the way, is Rock Star's imaginary friend. He is the world's foremost authority on everything. Rock Star often cites experiences he's had with Dia as a reason he should not have to do certain things, such as eat today's lunch ("I tried it before at Dia's house, and I didn't like it!"), or watch the aforementioned scary movie.

We watched My Fair Lady last night, and it must have been truly frightening for Rock Star; after about 45 minutes of watching it he was passed out for the rest of the night. The fright just must have been too much for him!

Kenzi & Tyler: Engagement

Once upon a time in a land far, far away (read: Georgia), we met an awesome family. What was particularly awesome about them was the fact that they had two daughters who loved to babysit our kids! One of these daughters, Kenzi, will soon be getting married to an amazingly spectacular guy named Tyler.

Kenzi and Tyler met at the restaurant where they both work in Pocatello, ID (which, for those of you who are geographically challenged, is right next door to Georgia. Sort of. It's in the same country, anyway.). Before Kenzi realized that Tyler was the love of her life she would complain to him about all of the other boys, and how they just didn't measure up to her ideal. Then one day it hit her--Tyler was her ideal! Which, of course, Tyler knew all along, and was just waiting for Kenzi to realize. And having listened to her complain about what she didn't like in those other guys, he knew exactly what to do, and what not to do, to make Kenzi happy. Smart man, Tyler!

We met them in Salt Lake City this past weekend to do an engagement shoot with them, and we had a blast! First of all, Salt Lake City is beautiful, and when you add a gorgeoulous (it's a word; look it up. Or not; we made it up) couple, you have a recipe for a great photo shoot. When that gorgeoulous couple is a lot of fun to be around, likes to laugh, and is not afraid to do silly poses and make silly faces (such as poking fingers in each other's mouth or doing the Tyler patented "squishy-face-kiss"), you have the makings of a truly amazing and fun-tastic photo shoot!

We would be remiss if we did not give a huge thank you to our photography assistant for this shoot, Kayti, who hauled not only our gear, but also Kenzi and Tyler's suitcase full of clothes. Thanks a million, Kayti!

Anyway, here is only a small sampling of the fun we had with this dazzling couple!

Princess of Awesomeness

On the second to last day of the first July of this century and this millenium, the Princess of Awesomeness was born, making us parents. Since that first July of the millenium, the Princess of Awesomeness has insisted on having a birthday each and every year. This coming July will signify the eleventh such event. Last July was the tenth. What does all of this mean? It means we are old.

Some people reading this might object to the claim that we are old, while others may be picking their jaws up from the floor after exclaiming, "Holy, Methuselah!" Allow me to explain my reasoning. Think of the oldest living person you know who has children. I guarantee that their children's ages are in the double digits. I am certain that no living person on earth today has a child whose age is in the triple digits. Well, the Princess of Awesomeness has had a double digit age for nearly a year, officially making as old as the oldest living person on earth!

The Princess of Awesomeness, in fact, is old for her age. Certainly some of you may object to that statement, saying you cannot be old for your age; you either are your age or you are not. Now some of you may be objecting to that statement, saying you cannot not be your age. Some of you may now be objecting to the fact that I don't make any sense.

Regardless, the Princess of Awesomeness is old for her age. How? She is about to finish the 6th grade. Most people are 12 years old, or will very soon be, when they finish 6th grade. The Princess of Awesomeness, as I mentioned before, will soon be 11 years old, thus making her old for her age. Or maybe that makes her young for her age since she is younger than the next youngest 6th-grader by a whole year. Or is she old for her age because she is finishing the grade above all of the other 10- and 11-year-olds? Or is she old because she has the same number of digits in her age as the oldest person in the world who still has living parents? Regardless, we are old!

You may be wondering why the Princess of Awesomeness is finishing 6th grade instead of 5th grade with all of the other 10- and 11-year-old. The answer should be obvious: she did 5th grade last year! Some of you may be wondering why she didn't do 4th grade last year with all of the other 9- and 10-year olds. The answer should really be obvious: she did 4th grade the year before. A few of you may be wondering why she didn't do 3rd grade the year before with all of the other 8- and 9-year olds. Well, because she did 3rd grade the year before that! A couple of you may be wondering why she didn't do 2nd grade the year before that with all of the other 7- and 8-year-olds. Because she started 2nd grade with all of the other 6- and 7-year-olds!

One of you just shouted, "What do you mean the other 6- and 7-year-olds??? 2nd graders are 7 and 8 years old!" Not in England! The Princess of Awesomeness started school at the ripe old age of 4 with all of her 4-year-old British neighbors (pardon me, neighbours; Brits have extra U's that we don't have. I mean, Briuts hauve euxtra Uu'su thaut weu doun't hauve).

So the Princess of Awesomeness has gone to school on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean Pond. Whether here or there, she has always been at the top of her class. (Academically speaking. Being physically at the top of her class would require very impressive levitation skills!) Having dominated her class in two separate countries on two separate sides of the world, I think we can officially say she has conquered the world. So yes, when next you see her, the proper greeting is to bow down to your ruler.

And, because she started school in England, the Princess of Awesomeness is now young or old for her age, while her British counterparts are still their age for their age, and we are still old. I mean ould.

Wizard

This is our second oldest child, whom we'll call "Wizard." Wizard's favorite things in the whole world are Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Pokemon. Harry Potter is the newest addition to this list of favorites, but it is also probably the biggest on that list. Why? Because one day Wizard discovered that books can actually be enjoyable! (*gasp!*)

For the longest time, Wizard considered reading to be something akin to enduring hot pokers while stretched out on a rack. That all changed when we read The Indian in the Cupboard as a family. Wizard was captivated, and started reading ahead of the rest of us. He loved it, and we thought he had surely changed his opinion about reading. Wrong! Apparently, The Indian in the Cupboard was the lone exception to the medieval torture called reading.

Then Wizard learned that his cousin in Kansas, who is his all time favorite person in the world, was not only reading the Harry Potter books, but actually enjoying them! All his cousin ever wanted to talk about was the books, and Wizard soon learned that his knowledge of wizards and muggles gleaned from the movies was woefully inadequate compared to the wealth of knowledge his cousin possessed. That got Wizard thinking that perhaps there might be something to books after all, and so he decided to try reading the first Harry Potter book.

Suddenly we were facing situations we had never confronted with Wizard. The following is a word for word example from when Sherrie went to check on the boys one night after they had been in bed for a couple of hours:

Sherrie: You'll never guess what I just saw.

Jay: What's that?

Sherrie: Wizard is still awake.

Jay: That's not too unusual.

Sherrie: Yeah, but he has a flashlight in bed, and he's...reading!

Jay:...*plunk* (That was the sound of Jay hitting the floor after he passed out from shock.)

We have now gotten very accustomed to the sight of Wizard with his nose in a book at all hours of the day. He has read all seven Harry Potter books, and wants to buy the Tales of Beedle the Bard. We're so used to it now, that Jay doesn't even feel the slightest bit woozy at the sight.

And so, Wizard is obsessed with Harry Potter now. One of the most common activities in our house is to see the kids running around with sticks, spoons, or anything else remotely resembling a wand as they shout things such as, "Stupefy!", "Protego!", and, yes, even "Avada Kedavra!" Actually, that last one is by far the most common. Do you suppose we should ban the use of killing curses in the house?

Having finished the entire Harry Potter series, we were excited to see which books Wizard would try next. He eagerly picked up the first Fablehaven book, read the opening line, "Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past" and promptly screamed, "AAAAGH! I'M STRETCHED ON A RACK AND BEING BURNED BY HOT POKERS!!!!"

Well, at least he likes some reading, right?

Wizard with his "Buckbeak the Hippogriff" pinewood derby car

Mr. Mister

This is our third child, Mr. Mister. As you can see from these pictures, the kid has the most expressive face ever! Those big blue eyes of his are going to get him into trouble; they're probably going to be the thing to get him back out of trouble, too!

Mr. Mister has had a very eventful year. A few weeks ago, he lost his first tooth! He was really excited. Shortly after that, we went to the circus, where he won a bike! ("Yea!" for free bikes!) As if that wasn't enough excitement to last a life time, Mr. Mister just turned the ripe old age of six. Does life get any better?

Mr. Mister is one of the funniest people on the planet. On the way home from church today, he informed us that he wants to be the President of the United States. Awesome! Why does he want to be president? "The president has body guards!!!" Is there a more noble motive for civil service? His older sister, the Princess of Awesomeness, informed him that the Constitution dictates that the president must be at least 35 years old. Mr. Mister sighed dejectedly and said, "I wish I was 35." Maybe someday he'll get those body guards.

Of course, this does raise an interesting point. Just what on earth does a six-year-old need body guards for? Kindergarten recess must be a lot tougher than it was when we were kids!

Which reminds me, yesterday he said he wished he could turn invisible. Now what would you do if you could turn invisible? Mr. Mister knows exactly what he would do; he said he would sneak into the school unseen (since he's invisible, after all), wait till recess (who knows what he's doing in the mean time; maybe just learning without the teacher seeing him), then bump into kids so they would say, "Ahh! A ghost!" Now isn't that a great way to use the power of invisibility?

But we're glad he's not invisible; he's too darn cute!

Need we say more?